


Stuck in a Rut

by mordelle



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: AntiChrist-Mas Zine, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Christmas Smut, First Christmas, First Time Blow Jobs, Holidays, I think Aziraphale IS the literal snow angel in this XD, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Roleplay, Smut, Snow Sex, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), humor and smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28301502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mordelle/pseuds/mordelle
Summary: Crowley is stuck in a romantic cottage with Aziraphale, spending their first Christmas together since their resignation from Heaven and Hell. They haven’t had “the talk” yet and Crowley doubts they will. And they don’t... kinda difficult to talk when you have a cock down your throat, ya know?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 117
Collections: AntiChrist-mas Zine Collection





	Stuck in a Rut

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! This was my contribution to the Antichrist-mas Zine! Check out the other works for some nice and naughty things!

What had he been thinking?! As Crowley popped open the Bentley's boot, he parodied the conversation that had caused this mess.

"Oh, Crowley, dear," he parroted in a high-pitched voice meant to sound like Aziraphale, "why don't we spend the holidays together this year? We won't have any assignments, we can spend the time however we wish! Jolly good, pip-pip, rainbows and tickety-fucking-boo!" He snarled the end of his rant as he hauled Aziraphale's trunk full of books... or bricks– _ how many fucking books did he bring?! _

"Sure, angel," he mocked himself, forgetting he could miracle the box toward the cottage they'd rented for the  _ month _ .  _ A whole fucking month! _ "Why don't we hang my blue balls on our Christmas tree while we're at it? We'd get better use of them that way," he grumbled, dragging the luggage, red-faced from the bleeding cold, but mostly embarrassment. 

Aziraphale pranced out of the front door, beaming. He was still in full winter clothes looking like a ball of fluff and tartan. 

"Oh, Crowley! It's beautiful! How ever did you manage to find such a place?!"

Crowley's ire left him instantaneously upon witnessing his happy angel, glowy and radiant with undiluted joy.  _ Fuck, I love him.  _ Crowley gave Aziraphale a closed-mouth grin and straightened, dropping the trunk to the ground. "I have my ways, angel."

Aziraphale blushed and ducked his head. His eyes fell on his luggage. "Oh, dear, that looks heavy. Here." He snapped his fingers and the trunk vanished, presumably to one of the bedrooms.

Aziraphale's bedroom?  _ Their _ bedroom? Who knew? Crowley certainly didn't. This was new territory for Crowley. He wasn't sure what was allowed or what would send the angel running off screaming, not to be seen again for a millennium at least.

Crowley turned to fetch the rest of their things only to find them gone as well.

"Come inside, Crowley, you must be freezing! I made hot cocoa!" Aziraphale wiggled happily and dashed back inside

Crowley sighed. "What have I done?" He dragged his feet through the trodden snow on the gravel leading to the cute house's door. "Ah, well, in for a penny... a lot of pennies..."

Crowley entered the cottage and sighed, contented, as the warmth from the fire caressed his numb face. As promised, hot cocoa was waiting on two small tables, along with tartan blankets and fluffy pillows on a comfy-looking sofa. Shedding layers, Crowley sauntered to the couch and collapsed.

There was only the fire's crackling in the air, and Crowley wondered what was keeping Aziraphale. He cracked an eye open only to find the angel staring awkwardly, hands clasped before him, biting his lip.

_ Here we go _ , Crowley lamented. Not even five minutes alone together and the Angel was cracking far worse than him. That would not do. 

Crowley closed his eyes, trying to seem relaxed. Completely unbothered. "Say, angel," he announced casually, removing his sunnies, "we should go all out. Decorate the place like humans do. What d’ya think?"

Crowley heard Aziraphale shuffle closer. "That is a marvelous idea!"

Crowley opened his eyes again, hoping they wouldn't betray too much. He needed Aziraphale comfortable.  _ One _ of them had to be! There were no delusions in Crowley's mind that anything would happen between them on this vacation, but Aziraphale didn't know that, did he?

"How about a tree?" Crowley added. "You know, one of those pine trees. We can do it all the human way. Go out, chop one down, miracle it into the living room, decorate it with candles and beads and whatnot."

Aziraphale shook his head fondly. "Other than miracling said tree in the house, that sounds delightful."

That's how angel and demon found themselves knee-deep in snow, in the woods, huffing and grunting, looking for a pine tree.

"Crowley!" Aziraphale yanked one leg out to sink once again with another step. "I don't think there are any pine trees. Lots of yews, but I suppose that will not do for our …" he growled as he took another step "… purposes."

Crowley heard a cry from behind him. He turned quickly to witness Aziraphale tumble past him down the slope.

"Aziraphale!" Crowley tried to walk faster, but the snow was too deep. "Ah, fuck!" He took a breath and threw himself after the angel, rolling down, his dignity forsaken.

Then  _ it _ happened. "Oomph!" Aziraphale let out with a giggle.

Crowley lifted his head and met Aziraphale's face... his  _ very _ close face. The demon looked around and realized something mortifying. 

He'd landed on Aziraphale.

"Oh, shit! I'm so sorry!" he yelped but started chuckling because Aziraphale was still laughing. He rolled off him and sat up. "You alright?"

Aziraphale composed himself enough to speak. "I'm stuck."

"Here, I'll get you out." Crowley lifted his hand to use a miracle when Aziraphale snatched his wrist and stopped him.

Crowley halted at Aziraphale’s firm grip and his adorable pout. "You said no miracles. We do this the human way or we don't do it at all," Aziraphale reminded him with unwavering finality.

Crowley, struggling to maneuver in the snow without sinking into it further. "Alright, angel. I got this," he groused at the effort of trying to stay upright. He finally had got his corporation's weight evened out when he spotted an expectant Aziraphale, framed by brilliant, white snow. 

"So," Aziraphale said in a low tone he hardly used and sent a thrill through Crowley. "How ever would a human get out of this predicament?"

Crowley wasn't sure what to do with the purr coming from those perfect lips. "Erm, I think they avoid this predicament altogether by wearing snowshoes or staying inside." 

Aziraphale blinked twice. "Imagine an ill-prepared human like this." Aziraphale tutted sadly. "They'd be utterly defenseless out here.  _ Anything _ might happen to them."

"Yeah … right …" said Crowley as he swung a leg over Aziraphale, straddling his thighs without putting any weight on him. "I think if you hold my shoulders and I, erm, wrap my arms around, erm, you, then I can stand and haul you up."

Aziraphale smirked and wiggled between Crowley's legs. "Splendid idea, dear boy."

Crowley suddenly wasn’t as cold as he’d been a second ago. "Right. Okay. Hold on." Crowley leaned forward and Aziraphale didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Crowley's neck, bringing their faces close. "Ngk," said Crowley.

"Yes?" Aziraphale murmured innocently. 

"Nothing. On the count of three."

"Tally-ho."

"One …" Crowley dug his gloved hands under Aziraphale "… two …" He shimmied his knees in the snow "… three!" Crowley hauled, and Aziraphale pulled, but Crowley's knees went right through the snow, leaving them in a worse predicament: crotch on crotch.

"Oh," Aziraphale breathed, eyes defocusing. “Oh, my."

"NGH!" Untangling himself from the angel proved detrimental to their state. Crowley only managed to grind his groin on Aziraphale's unintentionally. But, oh, did that feel... hard? "Um, Aziraphale?" Crowley questioned, not knowing what the fuck to say next. It's not like he could ask him if he had a handful of candy canes hidden in his pocket or...?

"Yes?" Aziraphale prompted, breathless, and so close with his eyes glued to Crowley's lips. Crowley only stared, mouth agape and brain clouded. Aziraphale spoke again. "It appears a demon has fallen upon a poor  _ defenseless _ angel stuck in a  _ pickle _ . Whatever shall happen next? Demons aren't known for mercy..." He trailed off, tightening his arms around Crowley, tilting his pelvis up slightly.

Oh.  _ Oh! _

Crowley gasped, then cleared his throat.

"Indeed," Aziraphale whispered back.

There was no mistaking the look on Aziraphale's face. Crowley had seen it, memorized every micro expression and twitch. It was  _ THE _ look. The look that said, ' _ I'm rather peckish, and I would ever so like to devour something scrummy right now.' _

Crowley heard a loud swallow that he belatedly realized came from his own throat. Aziraphale's eyebrows pinched together, his adorable lips dipping with a wobble that Crowley could not bear to see.

"I'm sorry," Aziraphale said, barely audible. He closed his eyes tight and his cheeks burned pink from shame. "I thought that maybe–I'm foolish–ignore what I said–"

Crowley overshot his attempt at a first kiss and ended up with a headbutt.

"Owy-ouch!"

"Oooph-fuck, I'm so sorry, shit, shit," Crowley rambled apologies as he brought his hands up to soothe the injury. 

"I'm all right," Aziraphale reassured with a soft chuckle. "I think your pride suffered the worst of it."

The tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips, and Crowley heard the fragile noodles in his brain fry. He felt outside of himself and emboldened if not still a bit frazzled. 

"Lookie here," Crowley snarled devilishly, "I've trapped myself an angel." If a game was what his angel needed to fortify his nerves and cross the six thousand year gap, then Crowley would not deny him. 

Confusion passed quickly over Aziraphale's face before it was replaced by surprise and then faux indignation. "How dare you, fiend!" he snapped vigorously, it would have made Shakespeare proud. He must have noticed Crowley suppress a laugh because Aziraphale reigned it in after that. "Demon, you will release me or suffer my wrath."

"Your wrath?" Crowley bit his tongue and stayed in character. "Smite me, will yeh?"

"If I must."

Crowley grinned, his sunnies dipping enough for Aziraphale to see his eyes–dilated and hungry with no white to be seen. "Hmm, I think not, little principality. You see, I think you wanted this to happen. I think you threw yourself down that hill on purpose to roll right into my plot."

Aziraphale cocked a brow. "And what plot is that?"

The glasses dropped further. Crowley tasted the charged air between them with a forked tongue. Aziraphale shuddered and focused on Crowley's mouth. "My plot to seduce you, of course," Crowley said. 

A whimper left Aziraphale's quivering lips and he closed his eyes.

"I say," Aziraphale breathed, "that would not be becoming of an angel." When he opened his eyes again, they were dark with intent. "Then again, I've never really been known to withstand the temptations of a certain demon for very long."

The grin that broke on Crowley's face showed undiluted glee. "I can attest to that."

Crowley leaned closer, aware of the heat between their bodies regardless of the thick layers. He checked in with Aziraphale one final time, who slowly and reverently removed Crowley's glasses. The angel was not only amenable to being kissed, he was encouraging it! That was all the invitation Crowley needed.

The demon's lips met the angel's, closed but soft and warm. Their lips lingered, neither of them moving so as not to break whatever spell had befallen them. 

When Crowley finally pulled away, he found Aziraphale chasing his mouth and they were kissing again more urgently. They snogged for what felt like hours until Crowley could not suppress his shivering.

Aziraphale broke their kiss, pulling a whine from Crowley. "You're cold."

"Every part of my body is frozen, but who cares? Let's keep doing what we were doing, yeah?"

Aziraphale held Crowley's cheek with one hand while the other slid down their side. " _ Every _ part?" he asked, his hand worming its way between them to grip Crowley's clothed, hardened length.

Crowley wheezed.

"Allow me to warm you, my darling."

"Dar-deh-yeah-if-mhm..." Crowley nodded urgently through the dizzy spell caused by the new endearment.

Aziraphale surged up again, catching Crowley's lips and burying his tongue in his mouth. "Mmm,” he moaned, fumbling with Crowley’s belt, “I've wanted to taste you for so long."

Crowley had absolutely no idea what was happening anymore. "Yeh-yeah, me too, I mean I wanted to-to-to tassste–" Crowley yelped. Aziraphale's hand found its way down his pants and the bastard hadn't warmed his palm before wrapping it around his cock.

"Oh, dear, I'm  _ so _ sorry. That must feel unpleasant."

"I wouldn't go  _ that _ far," Crowley mumbled, biting back a hiss.

"Why don't you climb up a bit and put  _ this _ ," he squeezed, "in my mouth?"

"Fuuuuuck." Crowley's lizard brain sent him scrambling up Aziraphale's torso before it could catch up to what he was doing. Right as he settled his knees on either side of Aziraphale's head, he froze. "Wait-wot?!"

Aziraphale took advantage of Crowley's paralysis and whipped his cock out for him, taking him all in one go.

"HOLY NOODLES AND STRUDELS!" Crowley's lungs shut down after that. All he could do was feel–feel the warm, wet sanctuary that was inside the angel's mouth. Aziraphale's tongue stroked under and over his tip while he hollowed his cheeks. When Crowley looked downward, Aziraphale's lustful gaze sent a jolt right to his cock. Crowley jerked his hips and clung to Aziraphale's curls when he used his teeth to graze just enough for Crowley to lose his mind. Aziraphale moaned encouragement, and Crowley made the movement again.

One wanton, muffled groan later, the demon spilled in the angel's mouth. 

Aziraphale put Crowley back to rights and guided his demon to lie on top of him. Crowley felt Aziraphale kiss the top of his head.

"You know," Aziraphale said, "I never told you what I wanted for Christmas."

"You may have whatever the fuck you want."

"Then will you gift wrap yourself for me?"

"With ribbons and bows, angel. But you should know... I've  _ always _ been yours."

Aziraphale sighed. "Oh, Crowley. I've been yours for quite some time as well.” He clutched Crowley tighter and sniffed. “I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up to you, love.”

_ Love. _ Crowley willed tears away. “It was bloody-well worth it after  _ that _ performance.”

Aziraphale swatted him. “Menace.”

Crowley sniggered. “Blast it, let’s go home. I have an angel to please.”

Warmed by the hearth and one another, an angel and demon toasted to their beautifully decorated, miracled Christmas tree.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Stay safe and celebrate! Pass some love around! Please leave a gift in the form of a judo and comment if you enjoyed this!
> 
> You can follow me here: mordelle.com & @mordellestories on tumblr, Insta, twitter & TikTok!


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